MST3K of Gundanium Underpants ^_^
by Sparkler
Summary: My first GW fic _ever_! This was basically me letting my imagination run RAMPANT with mental imagery. ;) Enjoy! Please r/r!!! :)


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Title: Gundanium Underpants, the MST3K! ^_^  
**Author**: Sparkler. ;)  
**Disclaimer**: The original "Gundanium Underpants" belongs to Underlord Backlash, who's supernice and talented and let me use it. ^_^ The characters are © whoever GW's respective creators are. ^_^  
**Summary**: Sparkler lets her mind run _rampant_... ;)  
**Author's Note**: This was based on an ICQ convo I had with my pal Lily, who originally sent this fic to me. ;)  
**Rating**: I'd say R, just for the implications... ;)  
  
~*~*~*~

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GUNDANIUM UNDERPANTS  
  
By Underlord Backlash  
  
Here are some lines from Gundam Wing that are much more amusing with   
the word "underpants" substituted into them.

And here is me, MST3King them! ;)

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1. Heero: "I'll eliminate all underpants."

REALLY Now?! O_o

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2. Lady Une: "We won't be needing underpants any further."

Sounds like a major booty call to ME! ;)

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3. Rashid: "There will be a day when the underpants will save us all."*

Yes, if your speaking of a fire-hazardous nudist colony, I completely see your point. ;)

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4. Relena: "All of you are very mistaken, and the underpants   
will soon come to rectify your mistakes."

Relena? Did you take your medication today dear girl? O_o

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5. Zechs: "Those Gundam pilots are desperate, they'll battle   
even if it means forfeiting their own underpants."

Maybe it's just me, but, does he seem hopeful??? O_o

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6. Heero: "Underpants, accepted."

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!!!!! ;)_  
  
7. Duo: "How's this for some underpants maneuvering?"_

DUO!!!!!!!!! You horny devil you!!!!!!!!! ;)_  
  
8. Duo: "SoS as long as this peace continues, there's no need   
for underpants."_

Something that Heero will be glad to hear! ;) (His job is _done_! ;)

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9. Duo: "So Wufei didn't bring his after allS" Quatre: "No, he   
didn't; Heero and Trowa sent their underpants to me right away."

I have a feeling Wufei isn't into the whole "shagging like monkeys and sharing underwear as a trophy" thing... ;)_  
10. Preventer Ann: "One year ago, people did not have the peace of   
mind to enjoy underpants."_

Makes you wonder... ;)_  
  
11. Noin: "The Preventers only put out fires, these underpants   
don't suit us."_

You're _really_ hard to buy for, Noin. I _hope_ you know that. ;)

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12. Dekim Barton: "There's nothing wrong with wishing for   
underpants, but the question is, 'Is humanity ready for it?'"

If they're not then _boy_ have the stockholders in underwear companies have something to worry about! ;)_  
  
13. Mariameia: "My father entrusted me with these Christmas   
underpants, I've got to deliver them to the people."_

OOOH!!!!! Are they the ones with candy canes?! ;D

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14. Duo: "Anything at all, for the underpants you loveS"  
  
Sweet sentiment, uhh... I _think_... O_o

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15. Dekim: "UNDERPANTS! The time has come!"

Anybody _else_ imagine that this could be the begginning of a musical number? O_o

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16. Dekim: "And we shall be the symbol of underpants for the people!"

Hey now!!! Your taking away the fruit of the loom's guys jobs!!!! That is not _cool_...

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17. Zechs: "If I may suggest, I'd like the name 'Underpants'S"

Zech's ol' boy, I know you get a lot of jokes about your name. But isn't this procedure a little drastic? ;)_  
  
18. Heero: "I've been underpants ever since the day I was born."_

My life is fulfilled for knowing this. ;)

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19. Doctor J: "But do you really believe Heero Yuy would be pleased   
if we buried his underpants?"

No, but I firmly believe Duo would have a _field_ day. ;)

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20. Duo: "P.S. Don't blame us if they run out of underpants."

Not what you said in the panty-raid last night, dear. ;)

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21. Duo: "Out of my underpants!"

Heero's going to be very hurt. ;)_  
  
22. Abdul: "Yeah, we wouldn't want to return only to find out   
there's no more underpants!"  
  
_Well that would just end the world as we know it right there, wouldn't it? ;)

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23. Duo: "Hey, I know this; I know this style of underpants!"

You would, wouldn't you Duo? ;)

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24. Wufei: "I'll gladly accept your underpants!"

Oh, so you'll accept other people's, but you won't send _yours_? Methinks _someone's_ goin' commando!!!!! ;)

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25. Treize: "He got out of the underpants to fight me, and I respect that."

My poor dear Treize!!!!!!!!! What did he fight you WITH??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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26. Relena: "HeeroS is he a little underpants?"

Ask Heero, he's the one that said he's been an underpants since the day he was born. ;)

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27. Quatre: "We can't avoid some underpants."

Especially when they're on sale. ;)

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28. Abdul: "Please! Take underpants with you, Master Quatre!"

Yes please do Quatre, the rest of us don't want to _see_ that!!!!!!! (Excluding Trowa and all those fangirls. ;)

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29. Trowa: "Operation Underpants, it's what they called the   
Gundams' descent to Earth."

Well, at least no one _suspected_ it with a codename like _that_, did they? ;)_  
  
30. Duo: "I'm not about to have my underpants here used as a tool   
for massacre."_

Can't say that I _blame_ you, m'dear. ;)_  
  
31. Duo: "If it meant peace for this colony, I'd be the God of   
Underpants any day."_

That's the spirit!!!!!!! ;)

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32. Duo: "THE GOD OF UNDERPANTS IS BACK FROM HELL!"

And he's bringing all the missing pairs of underpants with him!!!!!!!_  
  
33. Trowa: "I have no underpantsS"_

Quatre will be very happy to hear this. ;)_  
  
34. Trowa: "I was feeling insecure without underpants, I wouldn't   
mind taking hisS"_

Trowa!!!!! You bad boy you!!!!!! Stop taking lessons from Duo! ;)

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35. Noin: "Sally, were you able to confirm any new types of   
underpants in the last battle?"  
  
Boxers? Check. 

Briefs? Check. 

Bikinis? Check.

Thongs? Check.

CHAINMAIL?! ...uhh... check. O_o;;

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36. Quatre: "Take care everyone; say 'hi' to the Goddess of Underpants!"

Now I know Duo has long hair and is a bishounen, but you really have _no_ room to talk Quatre. ;)

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37. Zechs: "I guess there still is a place for people who just   
can't get used to underpants."

Yup, it's called a nudist colony, Zechs, m'boy. ;)

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38. Zechs: "I find I cannot sleep in my underpants, while Treize's   
spirit is still roaming among us."

Well, that confirms all the rumors about Zechs and Treize now, doesn't it? ;)_  
  
39. Dekim: "If you continue to insist on getting in our underpants,   
we will drop X-18999 onto Earth!"  
  
_Haven't you ever heard of a simple restraining order? ;)

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40. Wufei: "Now then Earth, show me your true idea of underpants."

You wouldn't know, would you Wufei? Going commando n' all... *WEG* ;)

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41. Duo: "I'll give you my best underpants."

Awwwwwwwwwwww..... ;)

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42. Wufei: "And I will become underpants itself to find out!"

Now Wufei, I _know_ you don't know what the concept of underpants is. But aren't you taking this just a bit too _far_??? O_o

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43. Sally: "You were kind enough to leave me plenty of good underpants."

Must've been Quatre, since he has the stash. ;)

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44. Heero: "The more you fight, the more sacrifice for underpants   
becomes a waste! You must have realized that!"

O_o

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45. Wufei: "So are you saying that soldiers who know nothing but   
how to fight get underpants?!"  
  
Wufei... if you want them that badly, just _say_ so... O_o

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46. Wufei: "I'm fighting on behalf of all underpants, including you!"

I give up. O_o

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47. Noin: "Who are you waiting for?" Zechs: "For those who hope   
for underpantsS"

Then you'd better go over and wait with Wufei! He's willing to fight for them. ;)

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48. Noin: "Zechs, I told you a year ago that I'll never leave your   
underpants."

Ouch... you must get very sore then. ;)

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49. Duo: "Let's only take the underpants, and war itself, along   
with us to Hell!"  
  
Duo, I know Laundry is a scary thing in itself, but why not just drop them off at the cleaners? ;)

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50. Wufei: "This Treize, is my underpants."

Wuf, you _know_ I'm all for you getting underpants, it's a relief from going commando. But stop the exhibitionism!!!!! Quatre wants to see them, not Treize!!!!!!!!!!! My poor, poor Treize... ;)

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51. Heero: "I'll relieve you of your underpants."

Duo will be very happy to hear this. ;)_  
  
52. Duo: "Underpants are things other people give you, there's no   
point wasting time worrying; the important thing's that we have a   
place to call home."_

Sweet sentiment... I _think_... O_o

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53. (Contributed by Amalia R. James) Otto: "LONG LIVE KING UNDERPANTS!"

I see you finally held out long enough, didn't you Zech's?? Yaay!!!! ;)

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54. (Contributed by SilverStargazer) Relena:   
"UUUUUNDEEEEEERRRPAAAANTS! I am right over here, so come and kill   
me!"

Heero must _really_ hate being called Underpants. ;)

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55. Wufei: "Those who have no underpants do not have the right to fight."

Well now that _you_ have underpants, your just being a hypocrite, aren't you? ;)

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56. Relena: "But how can fighting lead to underpants?" Doctor J:   
"It leads directly to underpants."

What kind of fighting are they _talking_ about?! O_o Whooooooolllllle new meaning of the word... O_o

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57. Trowa: "Beast only bear their fangs at enemies, they're true to   
their underpants."

I'd hope so. ;)

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58. Catherine: "Mysterious underpantsS"

Yes, thongs usually are. M'dear. ;)

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59. Heero: "Change in ordersS That craft is carrying OZ underpants."

Oz?! You mean, they have flying monkeys on them?! COOL!!!!!!!!!!! ;)

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60. Sally: "Right now, healing your heart is more important that my   
underpants."

Whew!!!! ;)

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61. Duo: "The best mechanics in the world couldn't repair a suit   
without underpants, not like you and your leg."

I thought _tailors_ repaired suits... ;)

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62. Zechs: "Father, my underpants are too stained with blood   
(^_^''); I'm completely unfit to lead the Peacecraft monarchy."

Owwwwww... poor Zechs, what did they _do_ to you?! O_o

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63. Trowa: "If you must call me something, just call me 'underpants.'"

Hey now! That's Zech's title! Don't touch that! ;)

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64. (Contributed by Sylver Secret) Quatre: "Did you hear what I   
said? Don't get any closer to my underpants!" Trowa: "Quatre,   
what's wrong? These aren't the underpants I know"

You'd know, woudn't you Trowa? ;)

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65. (Contributed by Sylver Secret) Mariemeia: "Underpants are much   
like an endless waltz..."

Dear, what kind of underpants are you _talking_ about?!

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66. (Contributed by Sylver Secret) Heero: "What's the matter Quatre?   
Not an underpants person?"

Not according to Trowa. ;)_  
  
67. (Contributed by Sylver Secret) Quatre: "Are underpants needed in   
a war?" Heero: "Not during the fighting but it is for the rest of   
the time"_

Again... WHOLE new meaning to fighting. O_o

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68. (Contributed by Sylver Secret) Relena's Friends: "Come on   
Relena, show us your pretty underpants!"

Relena has either very horny friends, or she's moonlighting as a stripper. ;)_  
  
69. (Contributed by Sylver Secret) Heero: "My underpants are cheap."_

So take Duo to get you _fitted_... ;)

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70. (Contributed by The Optimistic God of Death) Professor G: "Duo,   
Deathscythe is an excellent piece of underpants, try to come up with   
something better to do with it than destroy it."

Duo: But _Heero's_ the one with the superhuman strength! It was _his_ fault!

Heero: *_blush_* #^_^#

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71. (Contributed by Saiyan Witch Cat) Duo: "Anyone who sees me has   
got a date with his underpants."

Not only is he a horny devil, but he's over-confident _too_! ;)_  
  
72. (Contributed by Saiyan Witch Cat) Duo: "Well, looks like you're   
the underpants here!"_

And what form of role-playing might _this_ be? ;)

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73. (Contributed by Heero Fooie, corrected by me) Heero: "Judging   
by its speed, there's probably three underpants on board."

O_o

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74. Duo: "Hey lady! I just saved your underpants!"

Well you don't have to get _cocky_ about it! (Ohhhhhhh dear....)

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75. Duo: "He knows Gundanium's impact tolerance, which means--   
He's the mobile suit's underpants!"

Again, I ask, _what_ form of roleplaying might this be?! ;)

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76. Duo: "This is Duo here, I've destroyed the main underpants.   
Now I just have to slice my way outta this battle!"

OWWWWWW!!!!!!!!! Does that create painful mental imagery for anyone else? ;)

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77. Trowa: "Now that you've seen me, I can't let you live. My   
secret mission was to destroy only the underpants, now I'll destroy   
everything!"

Now isn't that a little _drastic_ Trowa? I _swear_ I won't tell anyone the size of it! Honest!

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78. Trowa: "This is battle 001, pilot's nameS'Underpants', for the record."

Stealing Zech's name is _not_ going to make you fall into favor with him, m'dear. ;)

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79. Toonami Narrator: "Battles are waged with underpants, the key   
to military dominance."

_jots down notes_ You don't _say_... 

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80. Toonami Narrator: "The only hope for the colonies: five elite   
soldiers and their legendary mobile suits, known asS. Underpants."

If that be the case, I have several pair I'd be willing to lend them. ;)_  
81. Toonami Narrator: "Now, these pilots will shake the underpants   
of the alliance, and change the course of history."_

This brings to mind disturbing mental images of the whole GW cast doing a number to "Shake Your Booty". O_o

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82. Wufei: "You saw I was underpants and you underestimated me."

Again, Wuf, with the fascination... O_o

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83. Quatre: "You shouldn't be underpants at all!"

Quatre's right, especially since you seem so fascinated Wuf. (Hmmmm.... Underpants Anonymous? This is not healthy!)

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84. Aries pilot killed by Quatre: "Come get me, you underpaaaaaaants!!"

Wow, this must be a really big insult. ;)

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85. Heero: "Say 'underpants'."

It's not _that_ funny Heero. ;)

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86. Heero: "WHAT'S WRONG WITH UNDERPANTS?!"

Nothing, but if you insist on wearing rhumba panties, SOMEONE is going to talk. ;)_  
  
87. Some soldier dude: "Get all underpants ready for combat!"_

Whoooooollle new meaning of combat. ;)

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88. Narrator: "However, the United Earthsphere Alliance gains great   
military powers, and soon seizes control of one colony after another;   
in the name of justice, and underpants."

Yaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!! ;)

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89. Some satellite dude: "Moving underpants confirmed, at La Grange   
point AX--"

Moving underpants? They're probably Duo's.

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90. Some other satellite dude: "Zechs is in the underpants, let him   
know what we've found."

Zechs is in Duo's underpants?! AAAAAAIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! Well no wonder he turned Heero down... ;)

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91. Zechs: "I told you, I am a true underpants."

And now that we've clarified that...

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92. Flight attendant: "Minister Dorlain, the shuttle will soon   
enter the atmosphere. Please remember to fasten your underpants, and   
remain seated."

He must be a member of the mile-high club. ;)

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93. Minister Dorlain: "I'm sorry, but my underpants keep getting in the way."

When your in the mile-high club, I could see where they would. ;)

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94. Heero: (sounding like he's about to cry) "I'm finally here, I   
made it to the underpants."

I didn't know it meant that much to you! ;)

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95. Zechs: "No, no underpants for him."

Really now Zechs? ;)_  
  
96. Zechs: "Besides, if it's underpants he wants, I should at least   
give him my very best."  
  
_Well, it's only polite! ;)

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97. Zechs: "He blew away two underpants with just one shot, not too shabby."

The guy Zechs is talking about must be a complete and utter horndog! (Duo! I bet it's Duo!)

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98. Zechs: "That reckless pilot won't have underpants."

You'd like that, wouldn't you Zechs? ;)

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99. Zechs: "There's no bright future for soldiers scurrying for   
their underpants."

Oh, pilots can go commando but soliders _can't_? Now that's just a bit hypocritical, isn't it? ;)

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100. Relena: "I'd better get underpants!"

Yes Relena, you'd _better_. ;)

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101. Zechs: "We were up against a mobile suit made of underpants."

Well, just... blow them away. *WEG* ;)

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102. Treize: Can't imagine otherwise, the Alliance's underpants is   
far from sufficient."

Well what'd you expect, Treize? A Chastity belt? ;)

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103. Treize: "Valuable combat resources? Are you talking about our   
soldiers, or are you talking about underpants?"

From what I've heard, is there really any _difference_? ;)_  
  
104. Treize: "The Alliance military is getting too complacent during   
this time of underpants."_

HUH?!

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105. Quatre: "Give up your underpants and surrender, and I'll spare   
your lives."

Quatre, I know you have a collection (and possibly an addiction) to feed, but this is ridiculous. ;)

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106. Wufei: "My name's Underpants, I'm not hiding anywhere."

The lack of underpants in his life has finally driven Wufei over the edge. ;)

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107. One of Relena's friends: "That guy doesn't need any underpants."

Relena!!!!!!!!! Geeze, and I thought Duo was the complete and utter horndog there. He's got competition! ;)

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108. Relena: "What kind of underpants is he?"

Boxers? Briefs? We may never know. ;)

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109. Some guy: "Hey Heero, I hear you ripped up Relena's underpants   
yesterday."

Now I've heard of experimenting... but I honestly didn't _know_ Relena liked it rough! ;) I hope Duo doesn't _mind_... O_o

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110. Zechs: "First, all underpants must be eliminatedS"

Zechs?! I thought you were _for_ underpants!!!!!!!!! What changed your mind??? Well, Wufei's descent into madness would change mine too...

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111. Zechs: "Underpants plunging to Earth, it's the only way to   
achieve total pacifism!"

I think you've gone the way of Wufei... dear Lord. ;)

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112. Lady Une: "I am like a body that has lost its underpantsS"

That's an interesting way to describe emotions... ;)

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113. Relena: "Let's put an end to all of this, the underpants and   
the battles."

Can we say _threesome_??? And at least now we know how Relena's undies got ripped up. ;)_  
  
114. Howard: "If those two underpants hit ground, the entire world   
will be affected!"_

Not quite what Zechs said! ;) Then again, we need to lock him up, just like ol' Wuf.

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115. Trowa: "I've continually fought, and with each battle I've been   
killing my own underpants."

Can we say _ouch_?!

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116. Trowa: "Maybe my life doesn't have underpants anymore, but I   
have to keep on living."

Trowa's going commando now?! Oh God... O_o

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117. Duo: "Okay, when we're done here, we'll celebrate with some   
expensive underpants!"

Good! Be sure to take Heero shopping, while your at it! ;)_  
  
118. Lady Une: "This isn't an order, it's a favor, as a fellow   
believer of underpants."_

That's not what you said before... but okay! ;)

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119. Lady Une: "This year, in After Colony 195, the history of   
underpants is finally about to come to an end."

Contradictory _much_ Lady Une? ;)

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120. Lady Une: "This battle is making each of us look for a solution   
to secure underpants."

Guy must not be very good then, if you have to find a reason for him _not_ to get inside. ;)_  
121. Heero: "You're the same as Treize, claiming to fight for peace   
to protect the underpants."_

Did Treize say _anything_ about that?! Methinks Heero's drunk. ;)

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122. Zechs: "It's the stronger who create the underpants!"

Well let's _hope_ so. That'll prevent rips and tears. ;)

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123. Heero: "You're underpants, Zechs."

That's only his codename you jackass. ;)_  
  
124. Zechs: "Not underpants."_

Right. ;)_  
  
125. Zechs: "My underpants are smeared with blood, and I won't be   
talked out of this transgression!"_

Zechs, you poor baby you!!!!! :(

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126. Heero: "Relena would be underpants."

Not even going to ASK what type of roleplaying... O_o

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127. Quatre: "We'd better get out of here, cause we don't want to   
get in Heero's underpants!"

No, because that's _Duo's_ job. ;)_  
  
128. Heero: "UNDERPANTS WILL SURVIVE!"_

Well let's _hope_ so! ;)

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129. (Contributed by Anika) Duo: "Just watch me I will become the   
God of Death once again! But right now, I need some underpants..."

Man, people around here do a _lot_ of roleplaying in the bedroom, don't they? ;)

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130. Quatre: "Are youSare you telling me to get underpants?"

Well Quatre, the orgy's _over_, what do you _expect_? ;)

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131. Duo: "As they say, 'evil attracts underpants.'"

I have to remember this. ;)

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132. Treize: "The emotions of those who are thought to be underpants   
are always filled with sorrow."

Well if people thought _my_ only job was to be wrapped around someone's ass, I'd be filled with sorrow _too_!

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133. Wufei: "NO WAY! Underpants want to keep fighting!"

As Wufei sinks deeper into madness... ;)

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134. Quatre: "They're violent and dangerous, but they're all really   
nice underpants."

Quatre... _tell_ me you didn't opt for the "muskrat thong" they were offering. ;)_  
  
135. Quatre: "And if Underpants refuse?"_

Then I guess we'll just have to resort to _other_ measures of getting them off, won't we? ;)

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136. Quatre: "Underpants up! And no funny stuff!"

You _really_ must not've liked what you saw. ;)

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137. Trowa: "I will correct the mistakes brought on by your underpants."

And let's _hope_ that doesn't include the Lorena Bobbit way of solving things!

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138. Trowa: "Without underpants we cannot fight."

That's not what Heero said!

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139. Trowa: "You're underpants, you really are."

Trowa... are you okay? ;)

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140. Duo: "Why don't you just give up and stop pretending to be underpants?"

I'd be tired of that style of role-playing _too_ Duo... don't worry. ;)

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141. Trowa: "Or should I be following your underpants?"

Any way my dick points, 'eh Trowa? ;)

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142. Heero: "I was counting on those underpants right from the beginning."

Well I would be too if I had to count on a Laundromat in hell to wash them. ;)

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143. Duo: "This time, try to use your underpants a little bit."

Duo, WHO are you coming on to? ;) _  
  
144. Dorothy: "You musn't fear underpantsS"_

She said to Wufei as he backed away in fear. "I'll go commando 'till the day I die!!!!!" he screamed... ;)_  
  
145. Dorothy: "You're going to spoil this beautiful view of   
the underpants?"_

Dorothy!!!!!!!!! You horny devil you!!!!!!!!!! ;)


End file.
